|Awkward Moments in Texas
||[Sep. 24th, 2010|02:30 pm]
Doug and I went to Texas a few weeks ago to surprise my dad for his 50th birthday.
It was overall, good times. But there were a few weird moments here and there....
-My Grandma attempting to grope my boyfriend
Oh yeah. She tried. She sat him next to her for dinner and he was bouncing his leg nervously. She put her hands on his leg to make him stop, but it was more the upper thigh. Grandpa called her a hussy and Dad said to at least let him get drunk first. This was the first impression Doug got of my family as a whole.
-Old Biker Chicks Checking Out my Boyfriend at the Screaming Moon Dog's show
First off, the Screaming Moon Dogs are this awesome old cover band that play out in Abilene. My dad's been friends with them for a long long time and they've always put on a decent show... You know, for a local old people cover band (lawls). They played at this little bar called Strawberry's which was a smoke free bar. Doug had to go out back to smoke with all the bikers. Eventually, I was dragged with him. Poor kid had posted himself to the corner cause you could seriously feel the eye rape going on... Best part about this, all those nice biker chicks were at my dad's party the very next day XD
-"I didn't know John had a daughter!"
This was the number one phrase I heard over and over while I was there. I don't take much offense to it since I'm never around and I almost never call and the last time I sent pictures was back in 2007 or 2008, but it was still pretty awkward. At one point, a group of his female friends surrounded me and bombarded me with questions. Including, "How long have you been John's daughter??" But in that chicks defense, she was pretty wasted...
-"She takes after her mother. She looks just like Tina..."
I look nothing like my step mom, really. But I found it amusing that this phrase came up more than once or twice...
-Weird Guy Eye Fucking Me
My dad has a pool at his house and it's Texas, so it was still open. So I was in my swim suit and a towel most of the time. My swim suit is a set of board shorts and a tankini top. Nothing scandalous. My dad was schmoozing about as he does and I was sitting in my purple flip flops, towel wrapped around me and drinking my beer, just hanging out and waiting for Doug. Then some guy spots me and goes, "Are you John's daughter??" And I smiled and said yeah. Then he called my dad over and confirmed.
"Yeah, that's my baby girl!" he said, throwing his arm around me. Then the guy was all, "Yeah, you did a good job there, John! Real good job!" Then he proceeded to eye fuck me... Constantly... And then stopped when he realized I was going to kill him with my death glare. Meanwhile, my dad was so wasted, he had no idea what was going on.
-Taking Shots With My Dad
It was just weird...